


For Better Or Worse

by BaekwDae, topbaekhyunsfest



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, First Time, Homophobia, M/M, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 14:18:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12459543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaekwDae/pseuds/BaekwDae, https://archiveofourown.org/users/topbaekhyunsfest/pseuds/topbaekhyunsfest
Summary: “I wanted to marry you. I always did. Maybe not this way, not because of something like that, but I won’t ever regret being your husband. And I’ll do the same for you,”





	For Better Or Worse

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #100  
> I want to thank the mods for this fest and also being beta for my fic! This was an amazing prompt and I had a lot of fun writing it so I hope you'll enjoy reading it. Any sort of feedback would be very nice, be it kudos or comments :) have a wonderful day

“I don’t want to get married,” Jongdae whispered, for what seemed like the hundredth time this afternoon, the feeling of unease never leaving his chest. 

“Jongdae, you have to get married. You know that your father isn’t doing that well lately and people are starting to notice. You have to show them that their country is still going to prosper no matter what the circumstances are, so I’m afraid you have no choice in this,” his mother’s voice didn’t waver like his – no, it was cool and controlled as always. Her build was small and fragile, but the way she delivered her words made up for it. Almost like a wall he had to overcome – and he was determined.

“Are you even listening to me? I don’t want to get married. I can reign alone. I don’t need anyone beside me. End of discussion.”

“Stop acting like a child. You think you can do what you want? You have to follow the protocol whether you like it or not. You have to finally take in account your position, Jongdae. It’s time for you to grow mature and think before you do something. Spare me and your father so many troubles that you always do.” 

It stung a bit, to be honest. Maybe that’s why Jongdae didn’t really think about the next words that left his mouth.

“That’s why you want so badly to find me a wife? So she can control my every action like you do?” He had a quick tongue just like her, but twice as sharp. She visibly flinched and he felt a pang of quilt, but tried to suppress it. Regret would come later.

“I think you should talk to your father,” her voice was ice cold and he knew he crossed yet another line, if there was any left. 

With her head held high, she looked at him expectantly. No apology left his lips, as he still believed in his words. He didn’t want to give up so easily even if he knew he would lose the moment his father would step in. 

He bowed, not low enough apparently as he heard a quiet click of his mother’s tongue and made his way towards the door.

“We’ll see later if you’ll be still so convinced.” 

Rushing to close the heavy door, he tried to silence the meaning of her last sentence. He understood what his parents wanted from him but the inkling that they never really understood  _ him _ was crawling in the corners of his mind, always there. What was so bad about living his life the way he wanted? Apparently, it was just wrong.

He slowly made his way to his father’s chamber, where he spent most of days resting. So deep in thoughts, he didn’t even notice servants bowing to him, keeping a respectful distance. 

When he was in front of his destination, he lingered, correcting his posture as he nervously licked his lips.  After that he simply knocked three times. Loud “Come in” rang out and he entered into darkened room.

His father face was pale, brows furrowed in the same angle Jongdae remembered, weak body tucked neatly in expensive sheets, dark eyes on him. 

He had a right to feel nervous after all. His bow was proper this time and his father beckoned him to come closer.

“How are you doing?” Jongdae’s question sounded quiet and unsure in contrast to his father’s firm tone.

“Good. I’m always good,” the response was same as usual but Jongdae could see that it lacked any genuineness, with regard to his state. He just wanted to act strong even in this situation and that was maybe why Jongdae still had so much respect for him. His body could be failing him but he didn’t let it break his will.

He didn’t approve of some of father’s choices (which went for both of them) and didn’t necessarily agree with him on many things but his strength was to be admired, he couldn’t deny that. However, that was also why arguing with him was so difficult. Or rather, practically impossible.

“I heard you rejected your duty to marry,” straight to the point, Jongdae wouldn’t expect anything less. Disapproval was written all over his father’s face. "Listen Jongdae, you know I don’t have the best health lately.” Jongdae nodded and his father carried on: “I can’t really rule the kingdom anymore as I can’t fulfill my responsibilities properly,” his tone was bitter, so bitter because it was like admitting his own defeat. “I think it would be better if you became a king while I’m still alive, to know you’re capable of leading the country the good way. I want you to make me proud, son.” Jongdae nodded again, heaviness settling in his stomach and plump in his throat, blinking rapidly. “The ball where you choose your future wife will be held on your 18 th birthday next week, don’t take it lightly, understand?”

He knew that personal feelings or relationships didn’t matter, not for the sake of country. Not in front of the King. Still, he tried to find any worthy argument, something better than his childish “I don’t want to get married” which may annoy his mother, but would never work on his father.

Sensing his son’s inner conflict, he broke pensive silence, words of comfort came sounding strange and unfamiliar on his tongue: “I understand that it probably isn’t easy for you, but I’m sure you’ll find someone worthy to stand by your side for the rest of your life. Every cloud has a silver lining. Also remember that being from a royal family means great power but also great sacrifices, Jongdae. You have to stop focusing on yourself and think about what’s good for everyone.”

And that was it. Jongdae knew he was right, he knew he couldn’t possibly deny any of what he said. Yet, he felt unexpected wave of unfairness of it all because he didn’t chose this life, this was what he was forced into. 

Jongdae didn’t want any of it.

He just longed to live his life the way he wanted and not by rules everybody before him made. He wanted at least for once in his life make a choice for himself.

“Right,” he replied quietly, not needing to add anything because it wouldn’t matter anyway. 

He made his way out of the door, without goodbye, something similar to rage stirring inside of him. He needed to be alone.

He rushed to his room with heavy steps, locking himself inside, drowning in self-pity. Unspoken protests were still stuck in his throat, making it harder to breathe, choking him.

He missed dinner but nobody ever came for him, giving him space. He welcomed it since he didn’t want anyone to see his tear-streaked cheeks.

  
  
  


The ball was long and tiring but mainly utterly irritating in Jongdae’s eyes. Long line stood before him, everybody ready to grab their chance to win a title, trying hard to impress him. Telling him the country they came from, their names, their hobbies, all of it blending together till it didn’t make any sense at all.

He was lost, muttering learned courtesy phrases over and over again, mouth in permanent cramp which should represent a thankful smile, eyes of his parents smothering his back.

The sight of ladies being shrunk in too tight corsets didn’t really catch his eye. It wasn’t that they weren’t beautiful – they were elegant, graceful, all smiles and hopeful eyes – but it was like Jongdae couldn’t see any of it. Maybe he really was a disgrace, too blind and stupid, too lost in his own thoughts which were running on overdrive. Only contemplating how the hell to get out of here.

His father placed a hand on his shoulder, clasping - quiet warning like he knew exactly what Jongdae would like to do. Which he probably did after many rough years of similar incidents.

And Jongdae, old Jongdae, would snort at him and roll his eyes, mock him while he would be walking away from this mess, convinced he was doing the right thing. But right now, Jongdae was rooted to his spot, only noticing how weak the squeeze was in contrast to what he was used to. His father was barely standing.

Walking away just didn’t seem like an option anymore.

Just as he thought that this night was the worst one in his entire life, something threw him off. He quitted mindless nodding, for the first time properly focusing on the person right in front of him.

Because it was a boy. 

A boy who was visibly nervous, but his smile was so wide and bright, reducing every other one that Jongdae saw today to dust. 

His gaze too, held some of the hopefulness like the other ones, but it seemed genuine this time, captivating. Jongdae focused again on soft features before him, instantly recognizing him.

It was Baekhyun.

Jongdae blinked, confused. 

Baekhyun was the prince of much smaller country, just next to his own. As both kingdoms were allies, he saw Baekhyun quite often, whenever their fathers had meetings or festive dinners held in one of the castles, causing the young boys to grow closer.

Baekhyun’s personality was fun and loud, similar to Jongdae’s. He always regretted not seeing Baekhyun more often, but he had his own friends and duties to distract him. 

Still, no matter how much time passed between them, they were always on the same wavelength, clicking instantly like a puzzle over and over again.

But what was Baekhyun doing  _ here _ tonight of all times?

Jongdae suddenly remembered where he was as the entire room became noticeably quiet, everybody’s attention on them. He was very well aware who was around him and more importantly,  _ behind _ him, noting the strangeness of the situation before it all suddenly made sense. 

Of course.

Who else could do something so absurd at such a formal event? Only Baekhyun, constant jokester, filling up every room with life, with colour. Always too loud, catching everyone off guard.

Stunned faces, confusion stirring. Perfect chaos in which both of the boys thrived.

Of course - it was a joke.

So Jongdae started cracking up, his loud laugh filling up the room. 

He heard a few more noises, the crowd awkwardly joining in, not sure what was going on but pretending nevertheless because it was where they shined. 

When he finally looked up behind happy tears in his eyes to study Baekhyun’s face, waiting for him to chuckle an explanation how he bought everybody back from the dead in the mischievous tone of his, none of it happened.

Instead, he stood there frozen and Jongdae swore he could see the panic and betrayal swimming in the dark orbits but it was all gone in a second.

Baekhyun smiled, collected, albeit less bright than before, and stiffly bowed. When he spoke to Jongdae, he didn’t sound like himself at all, instead proper and distant: “It was nice to finally see you smile, prince,” before he quickly walked away. 

Others might not understand Baekhyun’s words. They might not notice the unhappy angle of Jongdae’s eyebrows or his slumped shoulders like Baekhyun did, as observant as always, surprising Jongdae every time.

He quickly shook the image of scared Baekhyun out of his mind, still having a long list of responsibilities of that evening before him. 

He kept the smile on this face as another forgotten face came and went and the end of the stupid welcoming ceremony arrived. Thankfully, it ended on much lighter note than he expected, all because of Baekhyun. 

Now he’s just going to waste his night dancing, which he hated with passion, for he was never good at it.

“Go find some nice lady for yourself, Jongdae,” his mother prodded him, still somewhat taken back. His father already left to rest. “Ignore that kid.” Her eyes travelled to Baekhyun.

He firmly set off and heard his mother gasp quietly behind him. Baekhyun, in the far corner, had his head hanging low, avoiding his gaze. However, when Jongdae stopped right before him, he had no other choice than to meet his eyes.

“Thank you for your presence, prince Baekhyun,” he chose to greet him more formally this time, hoping to improve the situation a bit. “Do you want to dance?” he tilted his head questioningly. A part of him wanted to apologize for earlier even though he still didn’t understand what went wrong.

For the first time, it looked like Baekhyun had nothing to say as he took Jongdae’s outstretched hand, palm slightly shaky and sweaty in his hold. His face was also weirdly red. It was hot in here, Jongdae supposed. Especially in their very expensive suits.

“Are you sure  _ you _ want to?” Baekhyun’s voice was unstable and it had Jongdae pausing, casting him a confused glance. What was he saying? He was Jongdae’s friend, beside it was polite of him to do so as Baekhyun had certain advantage over the others due to alliance of their respective countries.

“Why wouldn’t I want to?”  

Something shifted in Baekhyun, courage anew on his face. He straightened, pulled back his shoulders and his old confident self was back, it seemed. He offered Jongdae his arm, leading them to the empty dance floor where they faced another crisis.

“Uh, so how do you want to do this?” Baekhyun questioned and Jongdae shrugged his shoulders. 

“I don’t care?” he grinned, trying to will the strange tension away. 

“So you don’t mind if I do it like that?” Not really waiting for Jongdae’s reaction, Baekhyun simply placed his hand on Jongdae’s waist, drawing him in closer, a charming smile on his face. His breath was warm on Jongdae’s face but it wasn’t exactly unpleasant as he was used to Baekhyun’s lowered sense of personal space. 

He placed his own hands on Baekhyun’s shoulders, broader than he remembered and tilted his head to the side slightly, catching a glimpse of his mother. She discreetly waved at him to go back. He could see angry lines on her face even from here, meaning he was in a big trouble.

Devilish joy spread through him, pouring satisfied smile on his lips. If he knew how much his mother would be against him doing this, he’d do it much sooner. He also noted disdainful gazes of the whole crowd but paid them no attention.

“So,” he turned back to Baekhyun, overflowing with a good mood, “I’m glad my first dance is with you. I know you suck at it as much as I do, so I won’t seem like the only lost cause.”

Baekhyun laughed, much more relaxed than before. “You’re nowhere near my level. If you step on my new shoes, prince or not, I’m throwing you out of the nearest window.”

“Same goes for you, of course.”

It wasn’t really that bad when they stuck to the basic steps, Jongdae stamping on Baekhyun’s feet only twice, while the other had an impressive zero score. Baekhyun was trying really hard, Jongdae noted, seeming like he took some extra lessons recently.

All was going well- wait, did Baekhyun just sniff his hair? Yes, Jongdae was a bit sweaty by this point but not that much for Baekhyun to actually smell him. Even if he didn’t understand, Jongdae decided to let it go, still needing to sort out the situation from earlier.

“That prank was great by the way. Totally worth it. Made my night actually.” Suddenly, he felt Baekhyun stiffen, almost stopping their dancing, looking bewildered. He studied Jongdae’s expression for a bit, worrying his bottom lip as seconds stretched. Jongdae didn’t know what he found, but his face fell and as quickly as it came, his disenchanted grimace disappeared.

“That was the plan,” he confessed eventually, not meeting Jongdae’s eyes. 

“Are you staying here a bit longer with your family? I heard you’re invited for a dinner,” Jongdae carried on, getting more confused by the second, like he was missing a piece of something, but not having idea of what it was. 

“Yeah, I uh- convinced my parents to prolong our stay a bit. Couldn’t miss this,” his voice was unusually quiet, raspy even. 

Jongdae was touched - Baekhyun cared for him enough to make his time here less miserable. Such a nice friend.

“The communal dinner will probably be cancelled though,” Baekhyun continued, casting a glance in direction of his mother, never stopping on Jongdae.

Jongdae looked over to her too. Noticing his mother’s tightly clasped lips, a sigh how much she was dissatisfied with him, he subconsciously pressed against Baekhyun even more.

“Don’t worry, I’ll try to soothe the sting a bit.”

The music stopped and Baekhyun reluctantly let go of him, his moves distracted and so unlike him. His eyes were glistening, slight tremor noticeable in the corners of his lips which were hanging down low, like his heart was breaking.

Jongdae wanted to ask what was happening for him to act so strange but Baekhyun just took a step back. He opened his mouth just to shut it back and try again, let out a quick, choked “Take care of yourself, my dear prince” and then disappeared into the mass of bodies.

Jongdae felt lost. Did he do something wrong? Maybe Baekhyun was sick? He seemed to have a fever...

Deciding he should probably comfort the other boy, he began to hurry in the direction of his fading back before radiant red dress blocked his view.

“Prince Jongdae,” the girl did a well-rehearsed curtsy, “Queen had said you’ll be delighted to dance with me.” She reached out and his body moved automatically and before he knew it he already sneaked his hand high on the girl’s naked shoulder-blades, taking the lead, not caring if his steps didn’t match the rhythm at all. 

He couldn’t stop looking at where he lastly caught Baekhyun’s sight.

  
  
  


“Unacceptable.”

“But it didn’t mean-“

“I said no, Jongdae. After yesterday, there’s absolutely no way for them to come to our palace,” his mother’s tone was resolute, pouring finality into every word.

“Why don’t you get it? It was a joke, Baekhyun’s like that. Don’t you remember how he told us their castle was flooded with mice and all ladies, including you, shrieked and we could laugh our heads off? You know how he is.”

“Jongdae...,” she didn’t rise to a bait, instead she furrowed her brows even more, her unsure eyes scanning his face, looking for an answer that couldn’t really be expressed with words, “are you sure it didn’t mean anything?”

“Yes! Yes that is what I’ve been trying to say all this time!” he cried. Why didn’t she get it? What was her problem?

Her eyes were still examining his face carefully, each second looking more peaceful. “Okay. Okay, they can come.”

  
  
  


Jongdae almost wished his mother refused his pleas earlier as he sat with their respective families across Baekhyun who wouldn’t meet his eyes. Jongdae tried to ignore it, tangled himself in conversation with Baekhyun’s older brother, all of it boring and uninteresting as they made an effort to appear proper in front of the each other’s parents. Nobody mentioned previous night so far and he was glad, hoping it would last.

Maybe he kind of wished he could run away from it forever, bury it under fake layer of forgetfulness.

Of course, he wasn’t so lucky.

“So,” his mother started, her delicate hold of her tea sample as she rose it to her lips. After taking a small sip, she continued, “our Jongdae here is marrying soon. I’m sure you heard about it.”

“Yes, yes, what a joyful event for everybody. Our son too, is of age,” Baekhyun’s mother replied nicely. Said boy flinched, arching his back more as if to hide, staring intently on his still full place in front of him. 

He was so quiet today. Jongdae hoped it wasn’t the flu’s doing or possibly his.

“Ah, of course. Does Baekhyun have anyone in mind who he’d like to marry?” his mother’s tone was sharp, almost accusing. Baekhyun’s mother casted an uncertain gaze in his direction, worry creasing her forehead.

“Well, he has yet to have his ball. He wanted to wait for J- wait till he’s more mature.”

“Ah, I understand. What a thoughtful boy.”

Jongdae was almost gritting his teeth by now as two women talked like their sons weren’t even there. It was like a play of chess. Deciding their next move, treating them like figurines whose feelings and thoughts didn’t matter. It made him sick to his stomach.

“Did Jongdae find the one? Who’s it gonna be?” Baekhyun’s mother carried on sweetly.

“Well, he especially liked the princess of Ker-“

“Yes, I did,” he interrupted, surprising everybody. He tried to tame his anger, knowing that if he’s going to be cold, the blow would have better impact. “It’s Baekhyun.”

He heard incredulous gasps, his mother’s yelling. He thought he couldn’t say anything better as he viewed the mess he made. His attention caught Baekhyun who was looking at him for the first time that evening, disbelief painting his features. 

Jongdae felt a bit bad, realizing he used him for his own petty purposes. He cast him an apologetic smile like it would fix anything.

He was shocked when Baekhyun beamed at him. 

  
  


.....

  
  


The events of next few days went by fast, frantically so, but Baekhyun chose to relish his afterglow. He felt better than ever, better than when he got his first horse for his birthday or after any victory he had ever accomplished.

Because Baekhyun was in love. And after years of wishful crushing, he would marry the person he wanted the most. Who may actually love him the same way.

It felt like heaven.

That’s why he was able to ignore the shouting during the dinner then and the accusing afterwards. He repeated the words “It’s Baekhyun” over and over again in his head which robbed him of all doubts and hurt he went through after the ball. 

It was decided that the couple will have their residence in Jongdae’s country which was greater and larger. That meant moving Baekhyun into the castle into his own chamber to learn all the differences in etiquette, all the little details that were so important to became King consort, who was worthy of standing by the King’s side and whom people respected.

Even with his head still in the clouds, Baekhyun tried his hardest to focus, improving fast as he yearned to impress the only person who deserved it. 

He wanted to be a good husband for Jongdae.

He didn’t really know what it was, probably Jongdae’s gentle smile tugging on his heartstrings or the quick wit that made him laugh, but once Baekhyun fell, hard and fast, he never looked back. Jongdae had sharp edges for sure – never bothering to look after his tongue or think twice before doing something much like Baekhyun himself – but that never was a problem for Baekhyun. He understood where Jongdae was coming from, instead distracting him, wanting him to see the good side of things because their life might be complicated but it wasn’t really that hard at all. However, just like in his wedding promise, he would love him through thick and thin, love him fully and unconditionally. 

He didn’t see Jongdae much, knowing the other also went through a lot of troubles because of Baekhyun’s presence. Sometimes he caught glimpses of Jongdae in the corridor when they were passing each other. It seemed like they never had a schedule in the same room, never had a chance to talk. Rarely, Jongdae even smiled as Baekhyun cheerfully called after him. That only made him work harder, his heart clenching a little bit each day as the wedding neared. 

He comforted himself that he would see Jongdae after wedding when they’ll have all time in the world to grow closer.

  
  
  


After months of studying, of practising and planning, the wedding was finally here. Everybody was in rush, running past him, taking care of little details so everything would be perfect.

Baekhyun was put in the uniform that fit him flawlessly, hair styled neatly, freshly shaven. He was ready, so ready even if his knees were shaking, and heart beating like never before as he walked towards the altar, his mother by his side, who was smiling at him wildly, knowing how important this was for him. 

She kissed him on the cheek quickly as they separated, tears in her eyes, ignoring the sheepish coughs from Jongdae’s relatives. She was so happy for him. 

Baekhyun felt his own tears gathering but held them back as he wanted to savour what would come next. Because he would never forget it.

And there it was.

Jongdae walked slowly, in rhythm to the music of choir that was behind the priest, in the same uniform as Baekhyun. Words couldn’t describe how breathtaking he was. With hair slicked back, which showed his forehead, heading through the aisle decorated with excessive amount of flowers, right to Baekhyun. 

Jongdae’s mother didn’t really say anything or spare Baekhyun a glance, leaving her only son with his head bowed down low before him. Baekhyun would almost feel uneasy because of her, but he wouldn’t let anything ruin the most important day of his life. 

He would never be able to count how many years he thought about this, how much time he spent yearning for the other boy. With persistent pain in his chest, he feared he may never have his chance with Jongdae as the other talked about how he never wanted to get married and he could never imagine settling down. But fate was kind to Baekhyun, maybe too kind, and he only feared when this moment of happiness will pass.

They went through so many troubles to do this, to be able to stand here side by side, breaking traditions, having people talk behind their backs, but now Baekhyun could see it was worth it.

The priest was ending his speech and pretty much everything was exactly how it should be before Jongdae finally picked up his head and all Baekhyun he saw was insecurity pooling in his eyes. Jongdae watched him carefully, questioning, a stark contrast to Baekhyun who stood tall and proud, ready to say his ‘yes’. 

Jongdae chewed on his lips harder and started to gaze around the room, looking lost in front of Baekhyun who decided to follow the other boy’s gaze. It was glued to Jongdae’s parents in the first row, who were watching them with tight-pressed lips without a trace of a smile. Baekhyun looked back to him, watched as Jongdae’s eyes hardened with resolution and stubbornness. 

Baekhyun felt own his heart sink. 

Now he realized that Jongdae never really loved him back, didn’t want to have his life tied with his. All of this was happening only because Jongdae wanted to prove something. None of this was real for him as it was for Baekhyun.

He suddenly couldn’t hear the rest of the speech anymore, only saw movement of Jongdae’s mouth, a “Yes” spoken with sheer willpower.

Baekhyun snapped back to reality because it was his turn, his voice even quieter than Jongdae’s as he had to repeat again. 

The newly married couple couldn’t meet each other’s eyes, one pair full of regret of making bad decision, the other pair full of sorrow of right decision that was painted like a wrong one.

The rest of the day became a blur after that, nobody really celebrated, nobody looked truly happy. Baekhyun kept thinking when it went so horribly wrong as he watched Jongdae make his bed on the couch, barely casting him a glance.

They didn’t talk about how they both cried themselves to sleep that night.

  
  
  


At dawn, since he didn’t really sleep, he went to Chanyeol, one of few servants they took with them on their honeymoon, already preparing their outfits for the day. Baekhyun befriended the servant during his first months staying in the castle. Chanyeol was a good friend, maybe a bit naive but loyal. He didn’t care for his sexuality and treated Baekhyun as equal which was more than welcome as he wasn’t that fond of formalities.

Baekhyun’s shoulders felt heavy with burden of reality as he told him about everything. His friend kept interrupting him, adding his own commentary, wanting to discuss everything he saw happening in front of the altar. 

Chanyeol didn’t blame anyone, didn’t dare to as he knew how much Jongdae meant to Baekhyun. Besides, he believed that everything was possible when it came to love.

So, instead Chanyeol closed his eyes, deep in thought. When he finally opened them, his whole face lit up as he gave Baekhyun the weirdest and toughest advice he thought would work. “Just make him fall in love with you.”

Baekhyun stopped sniffing, drying his tears with sleeves into his night-robe. “Make him fall- how am I supposed to do that?”

“Just- show him. Show him what a great husband you could be. And he will know it was the right choice.” 

That made Baekhyun think. He already knew the prince was interested in both genders, thanks to many late night talks the boys had when his family visited. He knew how charming he could be if he put his mind into it. And besides, he had nothing to lose. 

So why not to try?

That’s right, he’ll show his dear husband just how lucky he was.

  
  
  


Baekhyun quietly tiptoed into his shared room with Jongdae (his heart still clenched at that), approaching the opulent couch where a lonely figure slept. He’d feel content just to stand here and appreciate beautiful shadows that morning sun casted on Jongdae’s face if not for his puffy eyes. Baekhyun knew he looked the same, pale and tired, but that didn’t stop him from reaching out his hand.

His fingers itched with longing to run them through dark locks but perhaps it wasn’t the right time as the prince stirred suddenly, slowly opening his irritated eyes.

“Baekhyun? What are you- oh,” Jongdae mumbled and stopped as the events of previous day dawned upon him.

The courage sunk into the pit of Baekhyun’s stomach and he was suddenly not so optimistic anymore. Still, he pulled on brilliant smile as he rose energetically on his feet. “It’s beautiful day. Let’s go outside.”

The other stared at him for a minute, probably contemplating about Baekhyun’s sanity. 

“Okay,” Jongdae agreed as he slowly got up, nowhere near as eager as him. 

  
  
  


They didn’t talk, only walked side by side. It was still early, still cold after midnight storm.  Summer had yet to come but the sun was already shining encouragingly. Baekhyun was determined not to let things get any more awkward than they already were or to let silence stretch any longer so he spoke loudly.

“Wanna make castles out of mud?” 

Jongdae looked at him, mouth agape. “We did this, when we were like, five.”

“And?” Baekhyun pushed. It was something they could do together, yet they didn’t have to discuss anything they weren’t ready for. It would allow them to focus on simpler things, letting their worried minds rest for a little bit. Besides, they were supposed to be on their honeymoon in nice imposing cottage to have their privacy for a few days by tradition. They didn’t have any responsibilities or anywhere to be. 

Jongdae must have come to the same conclusion, so he nodded. 

“Okay.”

  
  


It actually turned out to be fun, sitting in the grass in their dirty clothes with even dirtier hands as their own respective muddle castles stood before them. Jongdae’s was impressive, decorated with cones and moss and what not, but then again, Jongdae was always better at that kind of stuff.

“I won,” he beamed happily, gazing over at other’s pathetic lump that was falling apart, looking so happy that Baekhyun couldn’t even complain.

“Prize for the winner,” Baekhyun smirked and leaned over. He could see how Jongdae tensed when Baekhyun reached for his cheeks, brushing them with his muddy fingers. Jongdae blinked once, twice, before whining loudly.

Jongdae demanded a real prize and Baekhyun sat obediently still, letting him draw beard and whiskers on him with mud, noticing their closeness, the adorable crease between Jongdae’s eyebrows as he focused. 

“All done,” Jongdae stated proudly.

The dried mud on Baekhyun’s face felt weird and disgusting and he longingly looked over to the lake nearby.

“You can’t take it off until we return to the castle,” Jongdae announced and now it was Baekhyun’s turn to whine.

“But you’ll get something for your patience, prince, don’t worry,” Jongdae reassured, plucking the nearest flower and another. Baekhyun watched, joining after a while as he realized what Jongdae was doing.

When they finally went back into the castle, it was late afternoon, everybody already looking for them, gasping, seeing the state they were in. Both of them walked past unaware, covered in dirt with flower-crowns on the top of their head with the biggest smiles on their faces.

  
  


.....

  
  


It took him a while to get cleaned up, but Jongdae didn’t feel annoyed, not at all, instead smiling the whole time. It was probably one of the most fun days he had lately and he knew it was only thanks to Baekhyun who didn’t let him sulk all day like he had planned. Maybe, Jongdae thought optimistically, maybe they could do this, be two married friends who stick together. It could work.

Jongdae started to slowly get ready for the night, settling himself on the couch before Baekhyun emerged from bathroom, in fresh pyjamas and with damp hair. He seemed nervous, judging by his restless fingers tapping against his sides.

“Can we talk?” Baekhyun asked, already walking on the balcony and Jongdae signed, grabbing the towel before following him. He didn’t really want to have The Talk, but he understood that it was necessary. 

The night was calm, full of stars that were decorating the dark canvas like some sort of fairy-tale. It seemed like the perfect time for him to close his eyes and listen to quiet whispers of the wind. If only life could be so easy. 

He dumped the towel on Baekhyun’s head, who jumped a little before giving him a thankful smile. Even though Jongdae felt that he should be the one to thank Baekhyun.

“Listen, I - ” Jongdae started but never got to finish.

“I don’t regret it,” said the other prince firmly, those simple words stopping the tangled thoughts laced with guilt Jongdae had for months now.

“What?” Jongdae asked, sure he had to hear wrongly.

“I wanted to marry you. I always did. Maybe not this way, not because of something like that, but I won’t ever regret being your husband. And I’ll do the same for you,” Baekhyun added gently.

Jongdae’s mind was racing, confused, as he tried to compose any sort of understandable sentence. It was like everything he knew was erased and rewritten. He searched for anything familiar.

“I- you- me- what?” he choked on his own saliva and cleared his throat before trying once again. “What?” 

“I know that you don’t love me,” Baekhyun explained. He specified, sad smile gracing his lips, when Jongdae frowned: “You don’t feel the same kind of love. Maybe I became aware of it a bit too late but- I won’t waste this chance. I’ll be good to you, Jongdae, I promise. I’ll do the best to make you happy so you won’t regret being my husband, too.” 

Jongdae let his words play over and over again. Guilt was trapping him deeper every second as realization slowly came to him. Not only did he used Baekhyun for his own selfish purposes, he also didn’t consider the possibility that Baekhyun might have different motivation than to make their parents mad- but Jongdae never noticed Baekhyun’s feelings, otherwise he wouldn’t-

Gosh, he really was naive and stupid, like his mother always told him. It wasn’t the brightest idea to marry Baekhyun, he saw that from the start, but if he’d know how much he was hurting the other boy, he’d never have done it. 

Maybe they should have talked about it more, but Baekhyun didn’t seem to have a problem with any of it, instead happily agreeing to whatever was suggested.

He recalled Baekhyun’s next words, full of promises about their life together. But Jongdae never saw Baekhyun like that. He wasn’t sure how whatever Baekhyun came up with would work – but Baekhyun deserved at least that one chance and Jongdae would be heartless to not give it to him.

In the end, after more stars appeared and the weight in his chest only grew heavier, Jongdae decided that most of things he’d say out loud would only worsen the situation.

“I’m sorry,” Jongdae whispered at least the only words he wasn’t able to hold back, leaving slouching Baekhyun on the balcony. Jongdae just wanted to hide himself under the covers from the world, to erase all his problems.

It didn’t quite work as another sleepless night awaited him.

  
  
  


Jongdae was used to mornings when it was hard to even get out of bed so he almost didn’t want to open his eyes, but a wonderful smell forced him to. The first thing he saw was Baekhyun’s huge grin and a tray full of bacon and eggs below it. Jongdae noticed that there were colourful flowers all around, making the food seem even more appealing.

“Good morning, my prince,” Baekhyun crooned, passing the tray to him. “I can’t say I did this myself – my cooking experience is nonexistent – but the maids were so nice to make it on my request. But these-” Baekhyun’s fingers slightly grazed the flowers “-I picked up myself.”

“Thank you,” Jongdae replied sleepily, still not quite awake but flattered nevertheless. “You didn’t have to.”

Baekhyun smiled again, this time even wider than before. “I wanted to.”

Jongdae almost couldn’t believe this was happening, if it wasn’t for everything that happened last night. He couldn’t doubt that Baekhyun was serious about this. 

After days when they went back to childhood with their old games, their honeymoon was over quickly and the couple had to return to the castle. The situation with Jongdae’s parents didn’t change as Jongdae predicted. His mother wouldn’t talk to him, wouldn’t even look at Baekhyun. He suspected he deserved it but it still kind of hurt that she wouldn’t accept his choice, wouldn’t accept him if he would be serious about his marriage to another man.

His relationship with his father was better – he treated him as usual, not really commenting about anything, only asking him if he was happy. Jongdae hesitated – he liked spending time with Baekhyun but he still felt bad about how everything happened – and his father frowned, not speaking about it ever since.

Baekhyun adapted quickly, making friends with most of the servants, joking with them, being his usual smiley self. It was hard not to like him despite the prejudices that most of them had.

Life changed, but not quite, with next person by Jongdae’s side. It was the little things – the little smiles Baekhyun threw his way, adoring curve on his lips, making Jongdae blush and forget about everything. Baekhyun’s observant eyes caught every little detail - he remembered Jongdae’s favourite games, favourite food. He joked whenever Jongdae felt down, instantly washing away his worries, making him laugh instead.

It was still Baekhyun. His friend, his dear friend.

It wasn’t that anything became easier – instead they had more responsibilities than ever as Jongdae’s coronation ceremony neared – but his days weren’t as long and boring. It was nice to share it with someone, who made silly faces at him during official meetings or lightly poke at his feet during evening’s dinners.

Jongdae suddenly didn’t feel the need to run away anymore, like he had found a place to stay, a place where he belonged.

It was inevitable that they slowly grew closer – hesitant touches on the shoulder grew into warm hugs, gentle caress and lingering hands. It was nice – Jongdae was always fond of physical closeness with the people he loved. He could no longer imagine ending his day without a massage from Baekhyun. He sometimes drew a bath for the other to return the gesture.

Whenever Jongdae felt his heart flutter, he wasn’t sure if it was because of some developing crush or because he simply liked the attention. He decided not to think about it so much, to not force himself into something he wasn’t sure about.

Maybe there were moments of awareness, when he noticed something about his feelings changing, but he wasn’t ready to face it, not yet.

He was slowly getting used to days full of laugher, not longer being afraid of the time when he’d wake up, instead coming to the bed to Baekhyun, waking him up as Jongdae snuggled into him. It was like a ritual, sort of – Baekhyun would smile and threw the arms around him, burying his face into Jongdae’s hair, then fall back asleep.

That was where he was, when it happened. In bed, slowly dozing off, an abrupt knock on the door and then one of the maids stormed inside, red cheeks noticeable as she breathed heavily.

“I’m sorry for interrupting, sir, but your father’s condition worsened, it’s-,” she took a deep breath before continuing “-it’s serious.”

Jongdae could feel his insides turn, panic running through his veins, suddenly awake. He threw the covers off himself, instantly standing up and grabbing his robe. Baekhyun blinked sleepily, immediately following Jongdae out of the door when he realized what was going on.

Jongdae cursed the distance between the chambers, as he had to run to the other side of the castle. His legs just weren’t fast enough, the constant fear burning behind his eyes, telling him that he’d come too late – 

He finally saw the door to his father’s chamber, seeing his mother cry in front of it – he didn’t want to ask, didn’t want to know – yanking the doors open, he watched his father breathe heavily, barely –

There was their family doctor looming over him, screaming something at Jongdae – and suddenly the door was shut right in front of his face. Jongdae made a grab for the handle again – but strong arms enveloped him, stopping him.

“We’ll have to stay outside for a while so he’ll be okay, he’ll be okay,” Baekhyun’s soothing voice lulled him and Jongdae fought against the strong grip for a while before giving up, reaching out for Baekhyun instead, in fear he’d fall apart. 

Hot tears fell down Jongdae’s cheeks, the consuming worry what was going to happen making him tremble. Baekhyun turned him around so he could hold him properly. 

Jongdae caught the sigh of his mother, so vulnerable and fragile, shaking with sobs. He stretched a hand towards her, letting go of Baekhyun, embracing her instead. Letting her know that he was there with her, despite everything that happened. They were family, after all.

Lightly rocking them back and forth, he hugged her to his chest as they waited for what felt like hours. Finally the doors opened, doctor wiping his sweaty forehead. 

“He’s okay for now, his fever reduced, but he needs to rest,” he announced, throwing them sympathetic glance. “I understand that you want to see him right now, but I can allow you only a few minutes. Don’t upset him,” he stepped aside to let them in, each of them stepping in quietly.

Jongdae saw Baekhyun waver before the doorstep so he reached out for him, silently letting him know it was okay for him to come in. He was also part of this family, after all.

His father’s eyes were closed, dark bags under his eyes, he was breathing slightly.  It looked like he was asleep, calm like his body wasn’t in agony every day. Jongdae adjusted his pillow the gentlest he could, recalling how his father always rubbed his stiff neck. 

It was hard to find things to say, none of them really fitting or telling as much as they should. “I love you,” Jongdae whispered at least, placing a slight kiss on his cheek, squeezing his cold hand in his. It was almost impossible to leave him here, to lose him from his sight once again. Anxiety raced through him as he closed the door, feeling impossibly tired. The last three hours seemed like eternity.

His mother excused herself and though Jongdae didn’t want to leave her alone, he knew she needed to get her composure back. Wanting to deal with problems herself, fight the hopelessness threatening to tear them apart, all on her own. Both of his parents did this, more because of their upbringing than their character. 

She left with hurried steps and shaking shoulders, back still admiringly straight, not hiding her tears. Jongdae watched her leave, a little lost as he still tried to digest everything. 

A gentle hand grabbed his own and he saw Baekhyun watching him with sad expression as he tugged him forward. Jongdae let him lead the way, not able to focus on anything as he felt himself being laid on the bed and tucked underneath the covers.

Soon enough, the warm body joined his, drawing Jongdae closer into comforting embrace. He enjoyed the illusion when he felt alright again, focusing only on the hand slowly petting his hair, another one pressing little circles all over his back. Jongdae signed when a kiss landed on top of his head, closing his eyes.

Baekhyun didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. He was the only thing keeping him together right now. Jongdae was grateful for his presence but couldn’t express it in any way as weariness took over him, taking him far away.

  
  
  


When he woke up all sweaty a few hours later, there was something warm against his side, clinging to him. However, he didn’t have a heart to wake Baekhyun. He looked way too peaceful with the way his face was pressed into the pillow and Jongdae felt something warm spreading inside of him. 

He still felt somewhat worn-out, but the restlessness tangled with the thoughts of yesterday wouldn’t let him sleep any longer. He couldn’t go to see his father yet as he was probably sleeping. He distracted himself with the way Baekhyun’s mouth curled into such unique shape when he wasn’t smiling for once, how soft it looked, slightly parted. 

Jongdae felt sudden urge to kiss him. Weird jitters were tingling inside his stomach as he pondered about it. Could he-? Would it be weird if they were married anyway? But shouldn’t he wait- 

Coming to conclusion that one little peck wouldn’t hurt anybody, Jongdae leaned in. At the same time, Baekhyun’s lids fluttered when he felt Jongdae’s uneven breath against his face.

Jongdae drew back quickly, putting some distance between them, watching Baekhyun wake up slowly, yawning loudly. He rubbed his eyes, hands searching around, looking for Jongdae.

Baekhyun instantly reached out when he registered him, studying his expression. “Are you okay?”

“Honestly,” Jongdae took a deep breath, in and out, “no. But it’s better now when I know my father’s still- that he’s alright now.” Baekhyun nodded, taking his hand, rubbing the same comforting circles again. “Thank you for- you know.”

Baekhyun smiled and even though Jongdae didn’t understand how or why, he already felt better. 

“Not at all,” he replied, but Jongdae wanted to show him he meant it and the weird urge was there again. Jongdae was suddenly stuck in place. Could he kiss him? Did it mean- Should he ask Baekhyun first? Or should he just-

Before he managed to do anything at all, Baekhyun brought their intertwined hands to his mouth and kissed Jongdae’s knuckles, chuckling secretly when he saw the prince flush bright red. “I want to take you out for dinner.” 

Jongdae furrowed his eyebrows.  “We always eat together with my family. You know-“ he gestured between them to explain the situation “-husbands and all.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “I know, but this is important.” He bit his lips, mix of excitement, hopefulness and uncertainty all over his face. “I want to give you something.”

Jongdae smiled mischievously, realizing how much lighter he felt. Baekhyun managed to make him feel normal and...  lots of other things too. “I’m all for presents so... yes.”

  
  
  


He didn’t expect Baekhyun to lead him out to the gardens when the sun was set, when the reaching of shadows might seem scary, if not for the candles prepared on the table. Everything was perfectly prepared. There were all kinds of food, fruits and desserts. It was a beautiful and incredibly sweet gesture and Jongdae squeezed Baekhyun’s hand in his. 

That wasn’t all apparently.

Baekhyun let go of his fingers, disappearing behind the bush for a second before he appeared again with a huge bucket of roses, bigger than he himself. 

“You didn’t have to,” Jongdae breathed out, feeling touched and burning and fond, so fond as stupid smile stretched on his face. “It’s not my birthday.”

“I know,” Baekhyun handed the roses, red and breathtaking, to Jongdae who brought them to his nose. They even smelled wonderfully. “They’re for every day that you’ve let me be your husband. And,” Baekhyun’s voice shook slightly and Jongdae looked up to see such gentleness in his eyes and his heart stopped for a second then beat a million times faster. “Why would I need special day to give it to you? I think,” Baekhyun’s cheeks coloured, the usual joking spark gone, eyes serious. His next words melted Jongdae inside. “I think the love of my life deserves his own special day.” 

It was cheesy and precious and probably the most romantic thing Jongdae ever heard and he decided that all things that he had done, what they went though didn’t matter for he desperately wanted to kiss this man. 

His last resolve snapped, the confused thoughts washing away and he knew. 

He was hopelessly in love.

“Won’t you say-,” Baekhyun started but never got to finish as Jongdae’s lips crashed against his, holding him close and dear, the gesture tasting sweeter than any dessert ever could.

  
  
  


His parents slowly, reluctantly warmed up to Baekhyun. How could they not when they saw how happy he made Jongdae? His mother was still very formal with him, pretending to not see their displays of affection but Jongdae took it for what it was. He knew his mother would prefer more traditional choice of his partner, but she tried her best to see it from his side.

His father was much calmer these days. He was unusually agreeable, proclaiming as long as Jongdae didn’t regret his decision he didn’t see any problem with it. His health seemed to worsen every day so Jongdae wanted to be with him as much as possible. 

It was amazing how Baekhyun always managed to calm him down. Jongdae learned to choose his words more carefully, recognizing the impact they could have. Although he went through a lot of stress last year, it was easier than ever to appreciate all the things he still had.

Jongdae would make sure he wouldn’t regret his choices anymore.

So that was why he was here, unbelievably nervous as he lied naked under Baekhyun, who was in similar state, about to make new memories of their wedding night.

Some parts of it were familiar – they spend the last few months getting closer, be it with words, discovering new things every day. But they also shared more intimate parts of themselves, experimental and eager. Slowly working their way so both of them would be ready. 

Baekhyun’s fingers gently worked inside of him while he kissed him, tongue following the familiar paths. Jongdae felt incredible pleasure but it still wasn’t quite enough. However, Baekhyun continued to stretch him slowly even as Jongdae raised his hips to meet him. 

He moaned softly, the sound which Baekhyun eagerly swallowed as the third finger slipped in carefully, curling and dragging against his walls. Baekhyun’s mouth shifted to kiss him on his chin, then to nibble on his neck, searching for a sensitive spot. Jongdae jerked, cursing under his breath and Baekhyun grinned against his skin in satisfaction.

When Jongdae looked up, eyes dazed, his breath was taken away once again. His lover looked beautiful, with his brows furrowed in concentration, his touch so gentle and light that Jongdae’s heart almost hurt with how it wanted to burst.

He touched Baekhyun’s face, bringing him closer so their lips brushed as he half-whispered, half-moaned, letting Baekhyun know that he was ready. He didn’t know how to express how glad he was to share this with him. Instead he hoped Baekhyun understood as Jongdae tried to pour all of his feelings into the kiss.

Baekhyun returned the gesture affectionately before drawing back. He seemed almost bashful as he coated his arousal with shaking fingers. They talked about it so many times and now it was finally here.

He pressed the last few kisses to Jongdae’s chin and forehead, murmuring quiet “Okay” as he positioned himself in front of Jongdae’s entrance. 

He pushed in incredibly slowly and it felt overwhelming and warm and foreign but so right. Jongdae threw his head back and moaned silently, feeling Baekhyun going all the way in, patient and considerate as he caressed Jongdae’s hair, looking for any sight of discomfort.

When Jongdae nodded, Baekhyun smiled sweetly, pecking his lips, hips moving only slightly. Jongdae couldn’t help but smile in return, bringing his legs up and circling them around the other’s waist. 

He belonged in Baekhyun’s arms like Baekhyun belonged in his.

He gasped when Baekhyun started to move properly, leaving then filling him up once again. Pleasure came to him with every thrust and Jongdae could feel his eyes burning because he never felt so loved and secure. 

It was perfect and beautiful and theirs and Jongdae only held tighter, wanting for it to last for eternity.

He craned his neck in attempt to reach Baekhyun’s lips and Baekhyun bent down a little, joining them for the last time as Jongdae whimpered, not able to hold back any longer. Baekhyun took his length in his hand, tugging quickly, swallowing all of his little noises and cries.

It was longer and more intense than what Jongdae ever felt before, squeezing so tightly that Baekhyun above him groaned, fastening his hips, desperate to join him. His cheeks were flushed prettily, hair sticking to his forehead, eyes trained on Jongdae’s blessed out face.

Jongdae squeezed more, still sensitive but wanting to make Baekhyun feel as good as he did for him. Baekhyun’s eyes slipped shut, moaning loudly as he came inside of him, filling him up.

They lied peacefully, still joined. After a few heavy breaths, Baekhyun pulled out, as slowly and carefully as he did pushing in. Jongdae shivered as some of the cum leaked out of him. He didn’t move and neither did Baekhyun as they rested, too lost in each other to care for any mess.

Baekhyun drew him in closer, already missing him, tasting his lips. The kiss was sweet until it became more heated, their tongues dancing feverishly. Jongdae pulled back first, breathless, already feeling a new wave of excitement wash through him. He couldn’t wait to do it again, but he also wanted to savour this precious moment.

“I love you,” Jongdae whispered, still at slight wonder at how light the words tasted on his tongue because they were so true.

Baekhyun’s eyes crinkled up, tender and loving and Jongdae’s heart quickened. He would never get used to it. 

“I love you too,” Baekhyun replied with all the smugness he had the right to have, making Jongdae laugh before he pushed him off himself playfully.

“Forever, you idiot.” 


End file.
